


Collateral Damage

by angelt626



Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Spoilers, Child Loss, F/M, Grief/Mourning, Loss, Loving Marriage, Other, Post Thanos Snap, Thanos snap
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-06
Updated: 2019-01-06
Packaged: 2019-10-05 09:58:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,521
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17322845
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelt626/pseuds/angelt626
Summary: Clint and Bobbi have been happy living on the farm with their four kids, until one day when everything changes with no explanation why.





	Collateral Damage

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you all like this!
> 
> I am definitely a bit sorry for this one.

Two years of house arrest, Bobbi decided, was both the best and worst thing that could’ve happened to them. All things considered, she’d take that over anything else.

While they’d loved staying in Wakanda and she’d adored working with Shuri, she and Clint decided to return home. “It’s not fair to them. And besides, what kind of example am I setting for our kids by continuing to run away, birdie? I just...I can’t keep doing that,” he’d told her one night as they’d laid in bed together, holding each other.

“What about Ross? You know he’s going to have every law enforcement agency searching us out; we won’t make it home before we’re both arrested.”

“Then we do it together, but I think you kicked his ass enough that he’ll ignore you. Me, on the other hand…”

“Ha! As if. Ross is the biggest pencil pusher I’ve ever seen. He’s going to do whatever he can to make sure I get in trouble too. The Accords are the most idiotic thing I’ve ever heard of. And it’s not as though you butted into a saving the world situation.”

“I know, and I agree with you, but there’s nothing we can do about it. We’ll talk to Phil and see if he can’t help on his end.”

And that had been that. They’d packed up their things and returned home (courtesy of T’Challa’s private jet and the promise that they were always welcome in Wakanda), making it back to the farm before they were set upon after a week of being there. The kids handled it with more grace and dignity than Bobbi had expected, although Francis had kicked one of the agents in the shin hard enough to make him cry. Luckily, Bobbi had had the foresight to contact Coulson once they’d gotten home, who came as soon as he could. With his help, they managed to arrange something of a plea bargain both for Clint and for Scott Lang: because they hadn’t gotten involved in any world-saving affairs without the approval of the UN, they were only sentenced to two years of house arrest as opposed to having to serve out their time on The Raft. Not that that would have worked, considering how easily Bobbi and Steve had managed to break in and get them out. As for Bobbi herself, as there wasn’t much proof against any wrongdoing on her part, and since Ross hadn’t said a word about their discussion, she’d been given one year of house arrest with provisional access once a week that allowed her to go into town to run any errands that needed to be taken care of. It was the best Coulson could do, under the circumstances; Bobbi thanked him profusely, knowing it could have been just as worse. 

Time passed by, as it was wont to do, and before they knew it, her one year of house arrest was done. Not that it had been hugely inconvenient for her to be stuck at home, considering the internet existed and hurrah for delivery services, but it was more than a little difficult to try and get fast food delivered when you lived fifteen miles out from town. They’d broken open a bottle of wine that she’d bought and had celebrated long into the early hours of the morning. Nine months later, Nathaniel Philip Barton-Morse had been born at home on the farm, much to the chagrin of her doctor. She’d been furious, but as it had been Bobbi’s fourth pregnancy, who was more than used to how delivery went and she wanted Clint to be there, the doctor had relented, gave them the number to a midwife, and told her to call if anything went wrong. Everything had gone so smoothly and was less stressful, to the happiness of both parents. Bobbi smiled as she thought of how everything had changed with the kids; upon hearing the news, there had been something of an outcry. Once Nathaniel had been born, Francis had been overjoyed at the prospect of having a younger brother and had become his protector overnight, as had the girls. The three of them loved having a younger sibling to take care of, despite moments of jealousy. She finished wrapping her youngest son in a swaddle before holding him close. “Not much longer and you’re not gonna need this security blanket anymore, little man. Then the real fun begins,” Bobbi grinned, kissing his forehead and making her way to the kitchen, putting him in his baby seat. She started making breakfast, bustling about the room as she watched for Clint and the kids; he’d headed out to the barn to take care of chores and she’d sent the kids after him awhile ago, but they hadn’t come back in yet. The sounds of Nathan fussing pulled her from her thoughts, who she picked up again. “Let’s go see where your daddy has gotten to, yeah?” He cooed happily in response as she got him settled into a baby sling and stepped onto the front porch, a hand held up to shield against the bright, cool morning sunrise. A moment later, she saw him come over the hill, Francis and their daughters several paces behind him as they played tag together. “Look, there he is. Come on, we’re gonna go say hi.” Waving to Clint, she walked over to meet him, who beamed at the sight of them.

“Hey, how are my favorite wife and the little guy doing?”

“Better be your only wife, mister,” she growled good naturedly as she slid an arm around him, pinching his backside in retaliation.

He hissed through clenched teeth, pushing back against her hand. “You keep that up, we’re gonna end up with another kid.”

“Promise?”

“Ha ha. We said we were done after Nathan, remember?”

“Yeah, I know. You started it though.”

“Who’s the one that got physical first? You got all grabby!”

“I reserve the right to make sure that what’s mine stays that way,” Bobbi winked with a shrug. She didn’t think of him as a possession, nor he of her, but they both knew that they belonged to each other in a way that not many got to because they understood each other with a deep intensity. Working together under pressure and being married for years did that to people.

“You’re my only wife, and more than enough for me to handle, thanks. Although there is still the Natasha, Barnes, and us for fun thing.”

“That’s not happening until they stop running, and I’m not sure they ever will. Last I heard from Nat, they have a thing going on with Steve that they’re trying to figure out.”

“Really?”

“Yup. So unless you want to add Steve to the mix too…”

“I’ll think about it, but I’m not sure, and I don’t think he’ll go for it,” he replied, sighing after a moment. “They have to stop running at some point, birdie.”

“Not at all. They don’t have any kids, they’re not married, except to each other in a non literal sense because they’ve got the whole thing with Steve, so they have no real roots to tie them down. Except for the Avengers, and…”

“Yeah, the team’s shot to hell. And I’m not sure Barnes would have stuck around anyway after Tony tried to kill him.”

“Eh, he might have, but we’ll never know.”

“Yeah, but they’re better off,” Clint grumbled as he pressed a kiss into her hair.

“You still haven’t forgiven him for The Raft? It’s been more than two years, babe. Let it go.”

“He endangered the lives of our kids, Bobbi. They were completely innocent and God knows what could’ve happened. You mean to tell me you’re not a little bit mad at him?”

She sighed deeply as she rubbed Nathan’s back, her cheek against his head as she watched their kids playing, feeling his breathing even out in sleep. “I’m a little upset with him, yeah, but it’s Tony. While I was pissed before, I’ve had time to understand things and think about it. He’s impulsive and an idiot; he didn’t give any thought to the fact that he was on candid camera before he opened his damn mouth. That I can forgive. Ross, however, is another story.”

“Oh, he and I are gonna have _very pointed_ discussion the next time I see him, don’t worry.”

“Don’t, babe. He’s not worth it.”

“Not worth--?” Clint’s eyes were wide with shock and a tinge of anger as he stared at her in open incredulity, eyes flickering to the kids to make sure they were out of earshot before continuing. “You’ve gotta be kidding me. Tony, I can kinda understand and maybe forgive, but don’t fucking ask me to forgive Ross. That asshole came here to abduct you and the kids, all just to get at _me because I wouldn’t give up my friends_ ; he might have even had deadly intent for all we know.”

Bobbi gave him a wan smile as she framed his face tenderly with her hands. “Yeah, but guess what? I’m okay. The _kids are okay_. We’re all fine and we’re all here. It could have been worse, but it wasn’t and I thank you for the fact that you insist I keep up with target practice and letting me kick your butt into the mats three times a week, all despite me not going on missions as much as you. I’d have been out of shape otherwise.”

“I don’t _let you_ kick my butt into the mats!”

“Oh, so you finally admit I’m the better fighter?”

“Don’t get ahead of yourself there, birdie, you don’t always come out on top.”

“Is that so?”

“Yup. If I recall right, I seem to have pinned you down several times the other night.”

“That was just to make your ego feel better,” she grinned.

He snickered and nudged her hip with his. “Uh huh. We’ll see if you’re still saying the same thing tonight.”

“You’re on. So, where were you and the kids? I thought you’d have been back up at the house long before now.”

“We would’ve been, but one of the stray cats had gotten hurt, so Maggie wanted to make sure it was okay and patched up, and then they all got involved.”

“What, she doesn’t get enough love from the cat and the dog?”

“My guess is that she doesn’t seem to think she is. Lucky is almost always with one of us, and the cat is a hell spawned demon.”

“And who was the one who fell asleep cuddled up to the cat?”

“We said we wouldn’t talk about that ever again.”

“No, sport. That was you that said that. Me, I have pictures that are being used in the family Christmas photo package,” Bobbi grinned devilishly.

“You wouldn’t.”

“Keep acting like you don’t like him, and all it’ll take is thirty seconds to send them off to the printer.”

“You would extort your own husband?”

“Extortion is such an ugly word. I prefer to think of it as making you face the truth about your and the cat’s love.”

“Evil, evil woman. What am I gonna do with you?” Clint huffed with a pout.

“Love me forever?”

“That was already happening. Try again.”

Bobbi laughed and kissed him, humming when he deepened it before she pulled away. “You mind taking Nathan so I can make breakfast kid-free?”

“Yeah, sure. And speak of the devil, he’s awake. Front or back?”

“Let’s put him in front facing out. He likes looking around and needs the stimulation.” They worked in tandem to rearrange things for a few minutes until Nathan was again ensconced in the sling, blanket over his head to protect from the cool, now attached to Clint. “There’s an attractive sight. The only thing better than this would be you in a suit,” she appraised with a smile.

“Get a sitter for date night and I’ll be there with one on.”

“Don’t tempt me, I’m a married woman. Men in suits are like a drug, and tuxedos? Hoo boy.”

He snorted and pinched her side, grinning when she moaned under her breath. “Go on, before this gets too out of hand.”

“Yes, sir,” she playfully saluted, kissing her other three children as she headed back to the kitchen and whipped up some bacon, eggs and toast for breakfast. She made her way out to the porch, hearing the kids play and Clint laugh as he watched, ready to call them all inside to eat. Bobbi turned to hold the swinging door as it closed so it didn’t bang shut (she’d have to get him to fix that at some point that day), feeling a peculiar sensation wash over her, one she’d never felt before. Brilliant white flashed before her eyes and was gone in a second, blinding her. “The hell was that?” she murmured to herself, trying very hard to ignore the feeling in the pit of her stomach, the one that said that something was beyond wrong. The last time she’d felt it had been when Ross had come calling, and it hadn’t been as strong then. This was...it was sickening. She blinked her eyes rapidly as she turned around, picking up on the fact that it was quiet. Deafeningly so, especially when she had four kids between that ranged from an infant up to almost ten years old. Bobbi looked out over the open field in front of the house that she’d just seen Clint and the kids playing in, but...where had they gotten off to? Her husband was now standing stock still, his body tensed up like it was when he would be assessing a situation as an Avenger. She jumped the stairs, walking towards him at a brisk pace, her eyes on him as he looked around with that sniper’s awareness. “Sport? Where did the kids go? Are they in the barn?” she asked, even as she felt down to her soul, something was not at all right and her three eldest were not in the stable that they loved to spend hours in.

He shook his head once in silent negation, his breath coming out in even puffs as she stopped a few feet away. “You just saw them, birdie. They were just here and then they…” he trailed off, his voice tremulous. 

“And then they what? Where are the kids, Clint?” She hated how she sounded, more than a little hysterical as she looked around bewildered.

“They...they’re gone. We were headed back to the house, I saw you coming out to call us in, and then everything went snow white for a second. And then they were just...not here.”

“They’re what? You’re joking, right? They just ran to the other side of the hill and I'm supposed to go find them and then we’ll all have a good laugh about it after.”

“No, you’re not,” he told her. “They disappeared.”

“What? They can’t have just poofed into thin air, Clint! Magic doesn’t work that way, not really!”

“Bobbi, they were here one minute and they were gone after everything went white. I couldn’t, I wouldn’t, make this up. You know that.”

She clenched her hands open and shut several times in an effort to get a grip, seeing something for the first time that terrified her. “Where is Nathaniel?”

“What do you mean? He’s here.”

“You sure about that? Because it doesn’t look like he is. Where the hell is Nathan?!”

“He’s got to be right...” he trailed off in horror as he patted the sling, the realization painted all over him as his face turned a sickening shade of white. He touched the top of the blanket, pressing down on it with a frown, before he hefted it up. She grabbed at it in desperation, hoping against the logic that was seeping into her mind that she was wrong, and they carefully unrolled it together at a snail's pace, both ready to catch their infant son who they saw was no longer there, instead grasping at browning, gray ribbons of ashes that fell to the ground like a grotesque form of fall leaves. Bobbi collapsed to her knees, seeing the other piles around them, spread out as though they were chalk lines for bodies, the sight making her want to vomit. Tears pooled in her eyes as her hands shook, unsure if she wanted to pick up more of what remained of her youngest child, the fear creeping in for all of them. 

“Where are our kids, Clint? Where? What just...what just happened? One second they were all there, playing together, and the next…” Bobbi trailed off with a choked whimper as she picked up the brown ashes with care, some pieces sluicing through her fingers toward the ground.

He was uncharacteristically silent as he went down next to her, shaking his head as if that would make what had just happened reverse itself. His hands cradled the ribbons gently even as rivulets of liquid fell from those blue eyes of his that she loved so much. 

“Don’t. Don’t you dare do that, don’t you dare mourn them! They cannot just be gone, goddamnit! There has to be an answer!” she screamed, hitting his chest over and over, a convulsive gasp bursting from her throat and causing a chain reaction to erupt between them. He tugged her close and held her tightly as they both cried, unsure of what had just happened to their children, but certain of their shared grief and disbelief in that moment. She buried her face in his neck, her shoulders shaking as she wept, clinging to him as much as he was to her, each other’s own personal life raft in the hell that was the storm they had found themselves in. “Where are they, and why couldn’t we save them? What does that say about--”

He pulled back to look at her, anger shining bright on his face even as he cried, unashamed. “No. You are not a bad parent, neither of us are.”

“I couldn’t...we couldn’t...we were supposed to...and we f-failed!” she hyperventilated, rocking back and forth with the blanket crushed to her chest as she sobbed openly. “After goddamn everything we’ve been through, w-with and without th-th-them, we failed!”

“We did NOT fail them, Bobbi.”

“Then where the hell are they?” she yelled, her heart breaking from the rage and pain that threatened to snap her in half.

“We don’t know what’s going on, birdie.”

“How the hell can you be so calm right now?”

“If you think I’m not upset right now, you would be very wrong,” Clint told her, his voice tight. The only other times she’d ever heard it like that were with Loki and Ultron, when he’d been beyond furious or frustrated or deep in grief but was trying his best to reign himself in. 

She nodded in acknowledgement. “I’m sorry, I just...how?”

“Because I saw it happen. You didn’t. Makes sense that you’d be more upset than I would be and in denial, that you’d need to be in order to accept that it happened. I’ll be okay.”

“Clint.”

“I mean it, Bobbi. As much as I want to go to pieces, if I do, I don’t know that I’ll be able to come back from that. I can’t afford to be selfish right now, not when you need me. They were our kids, and I love them so much, I’d take their places, but we have to try and find out what happened. We owe it to them, and to ourselves.”

“I’m not sure I can,” she replied quietly. After a moment, she scoffed and shook her head in disbelief. “I told you we didn’t...we didn’t deserve normal. Years ago, when Ultron happened and he attacked the Tower and Francis got hurt, do you remember that? I was right then, and I’m right today. For all of the things we‘ve done, the blood staining your hands and mine, we don’t deserve normal.”

“We don’t deserve to be happy, is that what you’re telling me? Because that’s a crock of shit. I’m not saying either of us is innocent or perfect, but there’s nothing that says that we didn’t pay our dues.”

“This IS us paying our dues! We thought we could have this, so it’s karmic justice or something,” her head bowed in grief, tears sliding down her cheeks to fall into the ashes.

Clint sighed deeply. “I don’t know what this is, but this is not that. It’s anything but that.” Clint put a hand under her chin, nudging gently for her to look at him and not pushing, giving her a sad smile when she looked him in the eyes, her eyes red-rimmed and her face blotchy. “I know it doesn’t seem possible right now, and believe me, I’d love nothing more than to let you be upset for them, but the kids need you to be strong. I know you better than anyone else, and you’d hate me for letting you wallow once you came out of your grief when they need you.”

“Would not.”

“Yeah, you would. You’ve got a sexy, gorgeous mind, one that might be able to figure out what happened. You’re tough and brave and beautiful and a badass, so that’s what you need to be. _I need you to be that_ for the foreseeable future, even if that sounds selfish. You can be mad at me for it later, but I also know you’ll regret it if you just stay like this and if I let you. If we can’t find out what happened and we just have to...have to accept it, then we’ll both be sad together. But only after we try to figure out what just happened, as a team, a unit. I need you, Mockingbird, Bobbi, Barbara Morse-Barton, my wife. I will _always_ need you,” he told her, his forehead pressed against hers as his hands framed her face tenderly, reminding her that they were still as they always had been: a force to be reckoned with, and that he wasn’t letting her go. 

“You’ve never called me that. Barbara, I mean. You know how much I don’t like being called that.”

“I had to snap you out of it somehow, because I haven’t ever really been this desperate before.”

“No, I guess not.” Bobbi closed her eyes against the onslaught of emotions that threatened to overwhelm her, taking several deep breaths to center herself. As much as she hated it, he was right. The only way out of this was through, to try and figure out just what had happened to their kids, which meant she had to pull herself together. “It’s not selfish,” she whispered, her voice muffled against his chest.

“What isn’t?”

“You needing me to be strong for you when you’re already doing it for me. It’s only fair.”

“That’s not what I said, birdie.”

“Not in those words, but you and I both know that that’s what you meant. And it’s what I needed to hear,” she inhaled a breath and exhaled it, her body shuddering. “Promise me, promise me that we’re going to find them.”

His hands, which had moved to her back and had been rubbing comforting circles there, stopped moving. “I can’t promise you that. You know I can’t.”

“Seriously? You choose now of all times to not tell me what I want to hear? Even if it’s a lie?”

“Yes. I won’t do that to you, give you some kind of fake hope that we’ll figure this out. But I will say this much: I love you, more than anything else in this world, and no matter what happens, I’m going to be right by your side. I’m not going anywhere, and I will do everything I can, even if it means becoming a killer again, to find out what happened to our kids,” he swore.

She pulled away to meet his gaze, an uncertain look on her face. “Clint, you don’t mean that.”

“Yeah, I do. There’s not a damn thing in this world I wouldn’t do for you or our kids, and if that’s what it takes to get answers, I’ll do it. Because I wouldn’t be able to live with myself knowing that I didn’t do everything possible to try and find out what happened, and get them back, if possible. It’s my choice, I’m the only one that has to live with it.”

“But it’s not...that hasn’t been you for a long time. Me, yes, and when I have to be, but not you.”

“It’s okay.”

“Really isn’t,” she sighed with a morose shake of her head. He shrugged and kissed her gently, one that she deepened, both of them pouring everything they were feeling into for a long moment, until they pulled away. 

“You ready to be a badass again?” he asked, rubbing her arms.

“I don’t think I ever really stopped, but yeah. And I’m sorry.”

“Sorry for what?”

“For...for freaking out on you. It’s not fair.”

He sighed and rubbed his hand across his forehead. “You don’t need to apologize for that, never. Not to me. I get why you reacted that way, and if you hadn’t, I’d have wondered if you were okay; a reaction was expected. I already told you, I’m not going anywhere, okay? I love you.”

“I love you too. Let’s go try and find out what happened to our kids,” Bobbi nodded back with a tiny smile, content with knowing that things were okay between them despite her behavior.

“I don’t think it was just us.”

“What do you mean?”

“Because my phone’s been going off like crazy, more than it usually does. Hasn’t yours?”

“It’s in the house,” she gestured.

“Okay. And you hear that?”

Bobbi cocked her head as she listened, frowning in concern. “No, I’m not hearing anything.” It was eerily silent, which was more than a little unsettling.

“Exactly. There’s normally all sorts of sounds: birds, bugs, you name it, and there’s nothing. Makes me think it’s maybe not just us dealing with it if things are this quiet.”

“Then let’s go inside and we’ll figure things out.”

“Good a place to start as any. Check the news and online, see who we can get in touch with.”

She nodded as she let him help her to her feet, looking around at the small piles of ashes. “What should we do with them?”

“I’m not sure, but there’s no wind out. Let's go in the house, research this, and I’ll try to come up with something, okay? It’ll be all right.”

“I hope so.”

He kissed her forehead as he held her, hoping that he wasn’t wrong. “Yeah.” He led her toward the house, her hand in his, as they took the first steps together towards figuring out what was going on with the world. With any luck, they would get their answer and have their kids back soon.


End file.
